“Marriage is work” is altogether likely the most misconstrued phrase. We are oftentimes guilty of thinking that relationships are an exercise in change, that somehow they are made to labor individuals into different people entirely. Quite frankly, that’s foolish. Allow me to explain:
Now, people grow in relationships to be sure — in leaps and bounds of the quantum variety, at times — but hear me when I say that the purpose of relationships and marriage is not to make one into something they are not, but rather grow two gracefully flawed beings into a force greater than its human parts.
Too often people enter the venture thinking that enough time or toil will somehow chisel the other into their image of marriage material, but they miss the point entirely. Marriage is work, sure. But it’s work that fits. It’s work that make sense, that doesn’t tear at the fabric of human substance, but instead seeks to make it thrive. Marriage is the push — but not in the way you would think, not in a forward force but rather in planting a seed of triumph in another that inspires them to be more, to dream more, to live up to the beloved shape of themselves they see reflected in the eyes of their counterpart.
So, don’t marry the person who makes a project of your soul, or else makes you feel you have to be better or other to be worthy. Marry the opposite. Marry the person who knows and loves your every crooked corner, the one who tasks themselves with learning the tattered pieces of your being. Marry the person who sees everything that you are and everything that you could be, and finds them beautiful in equal measure. Marry the person who makes beautiful work of beautiful work. Better still, be that person.
Because if you find that — if you are that — I can promise you a fine, forgivable magic.
From photographer and White Wren Collaborative member Brent Deitrich of Live View Studios:
“One thing that defined Lewis and Adam’s wedding was joyfulness, and family. For their day, the biggest detail present was the people they held most dear. That, combined with the classic and heirloom pieces of their wedding day made it a truly memorable and family celebration. Lewis wore a veil that was passed down from her grandma, and their getaway car was a beautiful vintage roadster.
Seeing Lewis and Adam interact, you can tell that they are truly the most happy when they are together. They find joy in simple things, and quiet places. When they danced with each other, there was no one else in the room to them. It was a joy to simply celebrate with them, and see a wedding with so much heart and meaning.”
photography: Live View Studios / ceremony venue: First Presbyterian Church/ reception venue: Henderson Country Club / cake: Cakes by Sharon / DJ: Island Sounds / makeup artist: Alexis Ripley / hair stylist: Traci Farmer from Crazy Combs / stationery: The Wedding Shop by Shutterfly / officiant: Rev. Keith Benze / dress boutique: Traditions by Anna / dress designer: Paloma Blanca / bridesmaids dresses: Azazie / mens formalwear: Calvin Klein / film lab: The FIND Lab